Trump-Shaped Ecstasy Pills Have Showed Up on the Dark Web

Drug manufacturers in the Netherlands have gotten creative and begun producing MDMA pills shaped like—what else?—the 45th president’s head. They are allegedly being sold on the dark web and by dealers in Amsterdam, while one seller even advertises them with the slogan, “Trump makes partying great again,” reports the Daily Star.

The tablets come in orange or pink, and depict the former television host with his signature, ever-mysterious haircut. They reportedly contain 220 milligrams of MDMA, and are currently selling for about $10.50 (£8) a pill in the UK, according to the Star.

It is not unusual for drug manufacturers to take inspiration from pop culture when trying to market their product. Last year Pokémon-themed ecstasy pills were reportedly being sold around Europe, while a load of Minions-shaped pills were seized by authorities in Chile.

If you’re wondering how to party this festival season without destroying yourself, THUMP has got you covered with a handy, straightforward guide.

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A Guy Got Denied at a Club Door So He Jumped into a Canal

A French dancer jumped into a canal in Manchester this morning in protest at being denied entry to a club. Nearby door staff at a club on Canal Street in central Manchester then helped the man get out of the waterway safely after his aquatic act of defiance was caught on the club’s CCTV, reports Manchester Evening News.

Manchester police tweeted about the incident earlier today, reporting that the man was “cold and wet (unsurprisingly), but otherwise uninjured” after his “grand jete” at 2:30 AM. Along with members of local law enforcement, both an ambulance and the fire department showed up to the scene but the man walked away unharmed.

If you’re looking to avoid this kind of situation on a night out in Northwest England, you should probably read THUMP’s guide to clubbing in Manchester.

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Kai Whiston's 'Mukbang' Mixtape is Like a 3D-Rendered Food Fight

To celebrate recently finishing high school, rising Dorset, UK beatmaker Kai Whiston has shared a new 35-minute mixtape consisting entirely of original material and remixes.

Mukbang takes its name from an online video genre that originated in South Korea, in which hosts eat large amounts of food on camera. The 18-year-old producer, who has already received co-signs from Brainfeeder affiliate Iglooghost and BBC Radio’s Mary Anne Hobbs, engorges the stereo field in the session, dripping and twisting murky globs of sound in an abstract, expressive manner. Across 14 tracks, kaleidoscopic chunks of sound splatter against one another like a 3D-rendered food fight, evoking artists like Arca and Autechre’s more untethered software experiments.

The mix follows Whiston’s 2016 EP on TAR, Houndstooth, and includes a collaboration with Portland experimental bass producer Noer the Boy.

Listen to Mukbang, which features artwork by American multimedia artist Sam Rofles (Amnesia Scanner, Kingdom, Mykki Blanco), and check out a tracklist below.

Mukbang Tracklist:

1. An Update (Intro)
2. Tether
3. Mukbang
4. Lux
5. Slugabed – Winter (Kai Whiston Remix)
6. Gobsmack
7. Brain Fritta
8. Broody
9. Teeth Chissel
10. Embryo
11. Split Bone
12. Joe Petersen’s Interlude
13. Gum Weep (feat. Noer the Boy)
14. Drayen’s Revenge (Outro)

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Zeno Amsel's "Sea Cucumber" is Dank and Squirmy Techno

Houston producer Zeno Amsel has shared a jittery new track off his upcoming debut EP on Lobster Theremin, Enzo Trax.

“Sea Cucumber” is pleasantly woozy techno that strikes an enervating balance of gnarled and crisp production values. Its unquantized bassline has a certain wiggling effect, which, paired with some dynamic knob twiddling in the harmonic mid-range, gives the track a compellingly squirmy quality.

The Texas artist told THUMP about the song’s psychedelically cosmic backstory over email. “I drew inspiration from the immense variety of forms in the universe,” he said. “I imagined dark, dank, no-name clubs where anonymous revelers embrace their identity as specs in the infinity of existence.”

Enzo Trax will be released on June 30, and is available for pre-order.

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GAIKA and Zed Bias Feature on Manchester Charity Compilation

Warp signee GAIKA, UK club music veteran Zed Bias, and English musician Illum Sphere all contributed unreleased tracks to a new charity compilation, Manchester With Love, out today. Proceeds from the compilation will go toward the We Love Manchester Emergency Fund, to support people affected by the May 22 terrorist attack at the Manchester Arena.

The album features 226 tracks from artists across a huge span of genres, ranging from English punk pioneers the Buzzcocks to Mixpak affiliate Murlo, influential duo 808 State, and post-punk legends A Certain Ratio. It only costs $12.67, or £10.

The emergency fund was created by was created by the Manchester city council in partnership with Red Cross UK.

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Broken English Club’s “Stray Dogs” Was Inspired by Britain's Only Desert

The desert has two faces. For some, it represents freedom from the shackles of society; a Burning Man-esque utopia where one can stage a naked opera, or spend what would otherwise be a work day riding shotgun on a Skrillex-soundtracked art car. But these barren, sand-swathed landscapes can also be a setting for despair and isolation.

For his new album, London producer Broken English Club, aka Oliver Ho, took his creative cues from the latter. Due out June 15 on Ron Morelli’s L.I.E.S. imprint, The English Beach was inspired by the English coastal town of Dungeness, known also as “Britain’s only desert.” A mere 12 square miles in size, the area’s covered in shingle beaches, with a nuclear power station overlooking its largely abandoned buildings.

According to a press release, Ho made the record while staying in a converted fog signal building on the shore. As a result, the LP’s dozen tracks emit arid, decaying sounds left to bake under the unforgiving sun. Album opener “Stray Dog” welcomes listeners to The English Beach‘s desolate world: its unsettling drone, thick and looming like a sandstorm, falls in and out of focus beneath a man’s forewarning monologue, and the sound of dogs barking.

Listen to it below and pre-order The English Beach here.

Parris' "My Beautiful Fantasy" is a Skeletal Sci-Fi Dispatch

London producer Parris has shared a haunting new track entitled “My Beautiful Fantasy,” off his forthcoming Your Kiss is Sour EP.

Using a sample of a mid-20th century analog synthesizer, the Soundman Chronicles boss emphasizes its beguilingly eerie tone by placing it front-and-center, and leaving it mostly unadorned. His approach is exceedingly minimal on the whole, making a bold statement by adding little more than emptiness, bass, and a slight handclap.

“This tune was made using a synth sound from a sci-fi film from the 50s,” he explained to THUMP over email. “It just seemed so unique and ominous. I wanted to create something around the sample which was dread but also quite spacey.”

Pre-order Your Kiss is Sour on Bandcamp before it comes out June 16 on UK label Hemlock, and listen to “My Beautiful Fantasy” below.

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Murder He Wrote's "Mono" Is an Ode to One of His Favorite Sound Systems

British bass producer James Ongley, aka Murder He Wrote, has shared a new UK funky-influenced single from his forthcoming EP, Flavoured EP Vol. 1.

Dub delay pervades “Mono,” giving it a sense of spacey elasticity, but it maintains directness by tying things together with a sturdy lead snare pattern. Sharp marimbas and languid house chords meanwhile give the song melodic grounding, beefing up the sense of drama without distracting from its magnetic rhythmic pulse.

Ongley told THUMP about how he views the track over email. “‘Mono’ was the last track I made for the EP and for me is the thing that finally tied the whole release together: proper stripped down, back to basics percussive club tune,” he said. “It’s named after one of my very favorite clubs (and sound systems) – Mono, in Brighton.”

Flavoured Vol. 1 comes out June 9 via Roska’s label Roska Kicks & Snares, pre-order the EP here.

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British Teenager Dies in Suspected Drug-Related Incident

A 15-year-old died this weekend in a suspected drug-related incident after attending a youth dance party in the UK, reports the BBC. He passed away at North Devon District Hospital early on Saturday morning, May 27, after allegedly taking a recreational drug at a venue in the resort town of Ilfracombe, on the Southeast coast of England.

The teenager took what he thought was MDMA, according to a police report about the incident. Two other young adults were hospitalized that same night two hours ago in Plymouth after taking what they believed was MDMA at a house party. As of Saturday, both remained in the hospital, with one in serious condition.

“At this time, police can’t be sure if these incidents are linked, or if there is particular tainted batch of recreational drugs in circulation,” the police report said.

Local authorities are currently investigating the death of the teenager in North Devon.

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Edinburgh Nightclub's Response to One-Star Review Is Amazing

If you have a bad experience at a club, you are entitled to write a bad review. This is exactly what one University of Edinburgh student did after going to a party hosted by local venue Fly Club earlier this month, when she gave them one star on Facebook and wrote, “Shit music, rude staff!! Hated it. Never going back.”

Fair enough. Most companies would probably either ignore this review or give a perfunctory, business-friendly response, but the management of Fly Club decided to take to the comment section to make it clear that they remembered the interaction differently, and the result is amusing people all over the world, reports UK tabloid the Mirror.

Although we have no idea what actually transpired at this venue on the night the student is talking about, the club’s response is undeniably kind of amazing. After all, she was probably not expecting to be told that Fly Cub’s owner would “cherish [the review] until the day [they] died.” If you’re planning on getting in an argument online soon, it could be good to study this for inspiration.

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An Ode to the Easter Bank Holiday, the Greatest Partying Weekend of the Year

As a Brit living in America, most of the things I miss about home revolve around comfort food. Bourbons, custard creams, digestives—in fact, just all biscuits (by which I mean cookies), because the cookies here just don’t pair well with tea—which I drink all the time because I am from England. It’s too cliché for me to hark on about how the tea itself—again, I’m British—is also a travesty, so I won’t. But know that it really is an abomination.

But this week I’m reminded of something that I, hand over biscuit-shaped heart, long for more than anything else. The Easter Bank Holiday Weekend. Spanning Good Friday to Easter Monday, the bank holiday is the British equivalent of a US Federal holiday, just with a slightly more twee name. It’s time off work for arcane, often vestigially religious reasons that we choose not to think about too much.

For your average Briton, the Easter Bank Holiday weekend is glorious. I mean, of course it is. It’s four days off work in the middle of spring when the sun finally comes out and the supermarkets are stuffed with chocolate delights. But the reason I love it is because it’s secretly the greatest clubbing weekend of the year. It’s 96 hours of no professional or personal responsibilities, (relatively) good weather, and countless parties to hop between. It’s the unofficial start of the festival season, and in true British spirit, there’s often a collective effort to get utterly sloshed with your friends.

For non-religious, urban types like my family, Easter weekend comes with little to no pressure. It isn’t Christmas, you don’t have to return to the familial bosom. It’s the rare lengthy holiday that allows you to spend time with friends in sweaty dark clubs.

And the promoters know this too. I scrolled through the RA listings for London over the weekend and my heart ached when I saw the number of events going down. Sure, most weekends in London have plenty going on, but it’s rare to have a Romanian minimal night (shoutout to my other cultural heritage!), a Discwoman party at Corsica Studios, The Black Madonna headlining XOYO, and a garage and breaks party thrown by Uruguayan selector Nicolas Lutz, all on the same weekend.

Photo of a drunk bunny by R. Crap Mariner/Flickr

In years gone by, one of my Easter traditions involved dropping into fabric at some point over the weekend. The iconic club goes all out over Easter and this year is no exception with the Underground Resistance, Kate Simko, and Soul Clap all on the stacked bill. Given the turbulent few months the club had at the end of 2016, this year’s Easter weekender is surely going to feel like a rebirth for the venue.

And those are just the parties being advertised. London’s nightlife trademark, or at least as I knew it living there a couple of years ago, is the grotty house party. Making the most of the fact that lots of twenty-somethings live in actual, multi-story houses (sometimes with little gardens!), there are plenty of makeshift clubs going down in people’s living rooms.

The seasoned bank holiday raver will hit up a few select clubs and parties on the Friday and Saturday nights and then drag their hangovers to a boozy barbecue on the Sunday (remember, people in England have gardens) that inevitably bleeds into Monday. But it doesn’t even matter because you still have another day to do any adulting you might need to get on with. Or you can just sack it off and go to the park to chill with your mates, because in the UK drinking in the great outdoors is legal.

And then there are the treats. Because with me, it always comes back to refreshments. You have your classic Easter-themed confectionary: mini eggs, creme eggs, Lindt bunnies. A heady cocktail of sugary snacks to fuel you in between parties. But the real magic of Easter are the hot-cross buns—baked sweet rolls with raisins and icing drizzled on top in a cross-shape that are supposed to be eaten on Good Friday to mark the end of Lent. But toasted and smeared with butter and served with warm, milky tea, they’re the ideal sacrilegious hangover breakfast that tops off a perfect weekend of clubbing.

Rule, Britannia.

Four Tet Shares Stormy Remix of the xx's "A Violent Noise"

Text Records boss Kieran Hebden, a.k.a. Four Tet, today shared an extended remix of The xx‘s “A Violent Noise,” off their new album I See You. His rework adds some tensile fervor to the emotionally vulnerable original, ditching fragility for something a little more riled up and triumphant.

Complementing the tentative, almost opaque nature of the track’s melodic progression, Hebden places special emphasis on murky low-end motions topped with bursts of hiss. The rolling garage-influenced shuffle of his rhythm section, meanwhile, evokes the work of his one-time collaborator Burial, particularly the title track on his 2011 EP Street Halo.

The xx have long looked to Hebden for remixes of their material: he has previously shared versions of their first album’s track “VCR” and their second album’s “Angels.” More recently, Hebden turned in a “club version” Jamie xx’s “Seesaw,” from his debut solo LP In Colour.

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